Valentine’s Day is everywhere—social media posts of romantic dinners, stores filled with heart-shaped chocolates, and couples celebrating love. But what if you're single? For many, February 14th can bring a mix of emotions, from empowerment to loneliness. Let's explore what it really feels like to be single on Valentine’s Day and how people cope with it.

The Pressure of Valentine’s Day

There’s no escaping it—Valentine’s Day is marketed as a day for couples. From movies to advertisements, romantic love is put on a pedestal, making it easy for single people to feel left out. According to Sprecher and Sedikides (1993), cultural norms shape our expectations about relationships, and when we don’t meet them, we can feel like we’re missing something.

Being single on Valentine’s Day can also be tough because of “singlism,” a term coined by DePaulo and Morris (2005) to describe the stigma and bias against single people. Society tends to value romantic relationships over other forms of connection, which can make singles feel like they’re not measuring up.

Mixed Emotions: Loneliness or Freedom?

Not everyone feels sad about being single on Valentine’s Day. Some people fully embrace it, using the day as a chance to practice self-care or spend time with friends. Research by Lehmiller et al. (2014) shows that people with high self-esteem and a strong sense of independence are less likely to feel bad about being single.

On the flip side, some people struggle with loneliness. Seeing couples celebrating can lead to unhealthy social comparisons, as suggested by Festinger’s (1954) social comparison theory. This can make single people feel like they’re missing out, even if they’re happy with their life the rest of the year.

How to Handle Valentine’s Day as a Single Person

If being single on Valentine’s Day gets you down, there are ways to shift your mindset. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques suggest reframing negative thoughts—rather than seeing singlehood as a problem, view it as an opportunity for self-growth (Beck, 2011).

Another way to feel better is by engaging in activities that boost your mood. Studies show that spending time with friends, practicing gratitude, and engaging in hobbies can help combat loneliness (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon, & Schkade, 2005). Mindfulness practices, such as those described by Kabat-Zinn (1990), can also help you accept your current situation without judgment.

Final Thoughts

Being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a bad thing. While society may emphasize romance, there’s more to life than being in a relationship. Whether you spend the day focusing on self-care, hanging out with friends, or simply ignoring the holiday, the most important thing is to do what makes you happy.

References

Beck, A. T. (2011). Cognitive therapy: Basics and beyond. Guilford Press.

DePaulo, B. M., & Morris, W. L. (2005). Singles in society and in science. Psychological Inquiry, 16(2-3), 57-83.

Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117-140.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. Delacorte.

Lehmiller, J. J., VanderDrift, L. E., & Kelly, J. R. (2014). The commitment advantage: The role of partner commitment in buffering against negative affect. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 31(3), 317-336.

Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111-131.

Sprecher, S., & Sedikides, C. (1993). The romantic self-concept: A cross-cultural analysis. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 24(3), 300-316.